Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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