smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
