Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
