where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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