worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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