I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just cropdusted the office
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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