Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
