HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
