Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
