well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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