dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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