this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
