my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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