I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
