So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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