A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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