put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
