I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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