Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
