I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
