a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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