My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
