Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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