is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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