He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
