gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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