your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
