I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
