dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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