The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
