doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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