That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
