i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
