I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
