1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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