I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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