I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
