Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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