Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
