I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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