his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
