party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
