There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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