More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
