Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
