I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
