are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
