i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
