we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
