so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
