why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
