so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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