Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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